I don't know if Cocaine is addictive or not, but I do know the only time I
don't have it around is if I don't have enough money to buy it. That seems
to be the determining factor. I'll find something else to do if it's
before payday and I can't afford it. Come payday I'll make that phone call
to set up the score. I always enjoy the first toot. After that,the only
sensation I get is a craving for more. I'll buy a 1/2 gram and do about a
quarter a night. I ration myself,carefully doling out small quantities so
that I can stretch it out.                                                
                                         I've gotten greedy. I used to
turn people on. Now the only time I share is when I buy with someone and
I'll offer some to be matched.Cocaine used to be a treat. Something I
would do at a party, getting as much of a thrill out of the ritual and the
feeling of being one of the chosen to get turned on to a couple of lines.
You knew the person really liked you if they shared their blow. 
Now I can get it any time I have disposable income. I can place a phone
call and within an hour get it delivered. It's as routine as coffee in the
morning. And just about as necessary. If I don't get my caffeine fix, I
get a screaming headache. If I don't have coke,I don't get a headache, but
it keeps popping up to constantly occupy my thoughts. 
It's a relief sometimes not to have the money to buy. If I'm doing coke,
even if I stop early and go to bed I still don't get enough sleep. I make
it to work on time, but I know my performance suffers. Three or four
nights in row and I'm exhausted. If I don't have it, I sleep as if I'm in
a coma.
Cocaine effects my sex life. I get aroused and erect, but I can't come. On
several occasions I've had woman ask me to stop because I'd rubbed them
raw. 
Coke has made me a recluse. I'll score and then lock myself up for the
night doing it up. I don't like to be in public were it's obvious what
I've been doing. The constant sniffling, grinding jaw,and shaky hands are
dead giveaways.
I used to be for the blanket legalization of recreational drugs. With
cocaine I'm not so sure. I think eliminating the criminal element is a
good idea. Coke would be cheap as beer if priced at real market value. The
supply is virtually unlimited and unstoppable. The plant can grow on the
dirt on your carpet,so it's not going to be eradicated. If you take the
astonishing profit out of it by making it legal and cheap, no one is going
to mug your grandmother to get her purse.
On the other hand,I wonder if anyone would have the discipline to use
cocaine moderately if it was as accessible and acceptable as a bottle of
vodka. It could lead to abuse on an unprecedented level. Comments?

 -- talk.politics.drugs